Where do I stand?

I've been feeling a little under the weather lately... not physically, but emotionally. Since my trip to Xmas, I've been feeling a bit unappreciated. I find myself reclusive from social events. I thought it was stress from school and perhaps the decline of employment but I find that my social circle isn't there anymore.
I find that I have to make plans with people while they don't bother doing the same for me. It questions the utter friendship we have together. I find myself analyzing if it's worth it.
Last Friday, I was very furious at a certain friend - or so I thought he was. The sequence of events of the night made me question if anyone actually considers how I feel sometimes? I have to admit that, I have conformed to this robot of a friend who is passive etc. That is due to the fact that I don't want to emerge any conflicts between J and his guy friends.
To elaborate -- last week, J, JR, and R asked me if I wanted to go to the casino on Friday night. Not having any plans (and despite that I don't gamble) I decided to take on that offer. Mostly because I haven't spent some good ol' quality time with the guys out. (I couldn't care less of the gambling) R is not a big gambler himself so we decided to bring $40 each and combine our fortunes to hopefully make a profit. I was quite excited as everything was going very smoothly -- or so I thought.
An hour before we were supposed to head out... and right when I got into the car from the taking out cash for the night, J asked me, "How would you feel if it was a guy's night out?"
I felt fucken furious when I heard that. Fucken Furious.
Apparently S wanted a guys night out at the very fucken last minute.
Let's recount -- I was the only girl going.
Do you see something wrong here?
Not only was I de-invited to this fucken shot gun 'guys night out,' J didn't even stand up for me. He wouldn't even look at it in my view and MAYBE suggested to the guys that

1. it was friggin' 10pm at night and I had not plans but to go chill with them
2. it wasn't apparent enough for him to stand up to his friends and say, 'hey, maybe it would be inappropriate to pull this because she's the ONLY girl going?'

The lack of actions I've experienced from J made me really question the relationship we have together. The fact that he didn't quite consider my feeling in this whole ordeal was something to ponder.
I've never, ever, asked him to choose me over his friends but I find that there is this constant battle between me and his friends --- and I'm certainly not the one who starts it. I feel that he doesn't realize this. Whenever this emerges, I feel that he's always choosing them over me.
With this in mind, I feel like he's actually not considering how I feel in the scheme of things.
The pressure of our big 5 is coming up and I feel that things have been quite different. Because of this thing, I question if this is the battle I have to endure through out my future with him? If so, I'm not up to it.

A few weekends ago, I was chilling with JR one Sunday night after the guys left. R came over... and randomly asked, "If J asked you to marry him now, would you?" I tried to avoid answering and replied with a joke. He looked at me seriously.
"I don't know," I replied.
"You don't know?" He looked astonished, confused, surprised - not expecting this uncertain answer from me.
It's true. I really don't know if I really want to committ to someone who has friends that make him choose between me and them. I don't want to go through this constant battle of attention throughout my life.

The day after the casino night, I told JR how I felt towards S proposing this shot gun 'guys night out.' He said to me that he didn't even consider my aspect, or I felt. I was truly blessed to hear the truth from him.
He argued that the only reason why S proposed this was because he didn't want his gf to go. My reply?
"How is this my problem? Why did I have to be so called punished for this shit? Something that doesn't involve me? and yes, it did involve me indirectly... but why didn't HE consult me first?"
To me, that just showed that NONE of the guys AND my BF didn't even consider how I effin' felt.
This, in itself infuriated me.

Lately, I've been feeling this sort of anger towards J. He said that next time, he would consider how I felt in situations like this.... but for some sort of reason, I don't believe him.

In turn, I think this would be the demise of our relationship.