The thing with Viet ppl

Throughout my life, I had a fit body. It was because of my vigorous training with dragonboat during highschool that left with a 32-21-28 size. I had a busty upper body with a thing waist. Like any other student out there, after highschool and entering university, I started to gain weight and I truly didn't care. I thought to myself, "oh, what's 5 pounds here and there?!" so I started to just eat what I normally ate with no exercise, thinking that my metabolism would stay the same. Boy, was I wrong.
In highschool, I fluctuated from 105 - 110. In university, I gained 10 more gains... I remember my highest weight was 125. On a 4'11" girl, that's huge! But, for some sort of reason, I didn't mind. I didn't mind because my loving boyfriend didn't care about how much I weighed or how much I ate. In fact, he told me to eat comfortably... because he wanted me to be happy.
Whenever my parents friends come over for dinner, they've always nagged to my mom for me to lose weight. I ignored them because i truthfully did not care what they thought of me. I mean, these people were friggin' evil. They would talk about me in front of my face, saying how fat I am... and how it reflects on my mom. (My mom gained weight after having my twin sisters, lost it, then gained weight again after my baby brother)
It was not until yesterday night that my mom told me to lose weight. That crushed me. It was like as if she was siding on their side. and it sucks because well, it friggin' sucks when your own mom is disatisfied/embarassed with her own daughter.
I started to cry.
I started to cry because it really hurt me, to have my own mother say this. Even though, at times I have such thick skin, I felt like having this sort of burden on my mother was hurting her, even though it was not her body.
I would get frustrated at the fact that these friggin' viet ppl would be so superficial about how they looked. It friggin' bothers me that how these viet ppl are so vain that i truly do not want to associate with ANY viet ppl at all!
and it's not my parents friends, it's all viet ppl who grew up in canada/north america. They are so materalistic, so fake - always having pounds of make up on, pushing up their non-existant boobs with a skinny stick, and a friggin' blonde wig. It's annoying. It's friggin' annoying because I do not want to conform into something like an "white-like asian barbie." I don't. I really don't.
Lately, I've been feeling shitty because I do want to go back to my old body in highschool. Not because of anyone, but because of myself. I want to fit into jeans with no fat hanging out... I want to fit beautiful tops without my boobs busting the buttons out. I want to feel comfortable in a swimsuit without trying to cover up my belly. I want to be confident, healthy and slim.
and plus, I've been nagging to Joo about my body.. and how much weight I gained.. and I think he's starting to get really annoyed by my nagging about it. He sees that it's a touchy subject for me so he tries to go out about it in different ways. He loves my body the way it is. But because of my nagging, I don't think he can take it anymore. Ultimately, he told me, "miztran, if you are unhappy with it, then do something about it."
It hit like a ton of bricks, yes, I should stop with my nagging, with my stupid diets and yes, do something about it.
I've been at the gym 5 days a week, trying to eat healthy and I hope it pays off.
I can't be bother with trendy diets that forces you to go no where. I can't be bothered with those stupid diet pills that creates massive headaches.
I'm going to do it the smart way. Change my lifestyle for the better.

Quote of the day:
"Just Jarrrred"

hahahahaahahaha

(meant to be jared, as the name, not the past tense noun)

Ok, i gotta do my english stuff before i get off work. I'll blog you later! *tata!